As I prep and work in the difficult month ahead, I am reminded about just how far I have come, both geographically, emotionally, biologically, intellectually, and psychology since first stepping foot in the United Kingdom only eight short months ago. Having completed the first day of my third month using my journaling routine (self-interrogating each morning), I feel the need today to reflect on my journey.
The time seems to escape you at the moments of flow, and all of a sudden you become aware that the climate of your inner and outer worlds have changed so drastically that it seems hardly recognizable upon a closer reflection. However, the quintessence of yourself remains steadfast despite the living worlds and their impermeability, never far from one's mind although appreciably weakened if one eschews opportunities to recognize its potency. And this, my reader, is why today is a very special day indeed, yet in objective truth it's but one singular day among many copies (if Providence allows). Yet its significance is pressed upon my mind today because, as my friends and close acquaintances can attest, the way I have approached life and my entire worldview, in Germanic philosophical terms Weltanschauung defined as "sense perception of the world," thank you my dear Kant, (Naugle, 2002: 58), hasn't changed so much as become grounded and refined. I am stripping away the facades constructed by desire and passion which stole me away from seeing the truth, and instead am abiding in a clearer picture, a more distilled variant of life itself. How one might ask? Although my rather pluralized religio-spiritual beliefs have helped, it is almost entirely thanks to Stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca that I am now beginning to comprehend how the man who is not mentally equilibrius in all things, trained in the art of emotional shrewdness, is himself a slave. One cannot be free if they are blindly following what they feel.
Although I don't remember now when I first began seriously studying Stoicism (perhaps it started with a podcast, online article, video?), my journal's first entry is March 7th. Around this time, or a bit earlier, I remember picking up a copy of Marcus Aurelius' personal writings, "The Meditations," [or "Things to Oneself"] a series of 12 books of intimate reflections and self-directed teachings for Aurelius' personal development in the Stoic way of life (the first official copy dating to around 1558). Once this happened, and I began reading and understand what was being said, as well as taking full usage of the Stoa app and regimenting my mornings [meditation, journaling, breakfast], I gained a much clearer reflection of the fabric of my mental space. I began probing my values, principles, goals, desires, attachments, and self-appointed struggles with a fresh perspective, one that foregrounded personal responsibility, virtue, unconditional altruism, present moment awareness, patience, rationality, and acceptance.
As I kept reading, beginning a meditation and journaling routine in the morning (comprised of a morning and evening session, although the evening one I am much less successful at, which takes me through 10 questions ranging in depth), I soon saw how living from the place of unbridled acceptance, coupled with a mental acuity trained on seeing the rich space between impression and judgment, and which looks to only the things which sit within its jurisdiction of action, could help not only my work life but my spiritual one as well. If we see all things, traditionally helpful and inhibitory, as a simple action and a resulting interpretation, one begins to see how each and every action only is the result of how we think of it, and not at all married to its conventional name. Further, I have become starkly aware of the impermanence of all things, and how soon that which we covet and cherish dilapidate. Yet, this is not a reason to despair but instead a reason to celebrate because with this knowledge, I see the vital need to abide in the present, the impossible-to-replace present, and choose how best to deal with the reality that I will die (a mere passing of stages and not at all the empty void of nothingness we are taught). I will perish one day, for all I know tomorrow or the next moment, and thus how do I live the best life now? It is not connected to success in career, tangible ownership of material objects, monetary affluency, sexual pleasure, or even the genuine attainment of love. Instead, I realized I must strive to be whole, and the difficulties I have and had suffered from in terms of writing, were the manifestations of a single realization, one that I am working to realize even now:
To live virtuously and by principles that will sustain a life of total health, attuned to both God and Nature's teachings alike, to be situated and stay in an unshakable equilibrium of spirit, and see all things with an unclouded mind, is life's true purpose. All other goals, requirements, and needs of life, necessary in many cases yet not at all in others, are but secondary. Lead by self-control and moderation.
I am still learning how to do this and what this looks like in practical life, but I have found this phrase and this anecdote immensely helpful in dealing with the illusion of heightened emotions, the stealing of the mind, and victimization: Let it come, let it be, let it go (total acceptance and release), and "I want to do X but I also want to maintain my mental equilibrium. Therefore, what is in my power that I can do?"
I am sharing The Daily Stoic's article "12 (Stoic) Rules for a Good Life," a wonderfully terse list of but 12 main principles that can aid someone in the journey to live a true and good life. I will see you again in one month's time to check-in, if Providence allows me of course. Bye!
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